Tuesday, April 17, 2007

The tragedy at Virginia Tech

Just a few months ago, my family toured the campus at Virginia Tech. We walked acrosss the parade grounds, learned about the "Hokie stone" that clads the buildings, ate in the dining hall, all part of the visitation routine that has become a rite of passage for American families with a college-bound kid. Yesterday, as I watched the news reports from Virginia Tech and the number of dead increased by stunning leaps--two, twenty two, then thirty three--I thought of the VT acceptance letter sitting on our kitchen counter. My daughter had already decided she would attend a different school next fall, but many of her friends will be attending Tech. Our family now knew this school. Most of these victims are only the age of my own children, and this giant American trauma hits home with us. Indeed, one of my children may yet be fortunate enough to become a Hokie someday.

Today, though, I found myself stuck on the idea of those young victims, murdered just as they were launching their lives. I thought a parent's most horrible thought: What if our children don't grow old? What if this is all there is?

There is so much pressure on teens to get into college these days; high school is anything but the carefree life of Happy Days tv or Archie comics. It's competitive and demanding and consumes their lives even outside the classroom. Even charity work becomes little more than a crass opportunity to accumulate "service hours" necessary to fill a school requirement and impress college admissions officers. But none of us ever knows which morning will be our last. We who are middle age or older understand this. And it's too much to for us older folk to accept the truth that even our strong, healthy college-age children (not to mention the brave youths in the military) face the same mortality.

I'm sure there will be changes that come about from this massacre. Life will become a little less free on campuses. Metal detectors at the doors, maybe. Administrators will try to seal off the outside world a little more, just as high school campuses have. But I'm thinking another change is in order. Maybe we need to acknowledge the roulette wheel. We need to make sure our children have the time to savor their youth and vitality, even if it costs them a few points on their SAT. Even the young can't afford to put things off.

1 Comments:

Blogger Lois Geller said...

Dear Elizabeth,
I have recently found you as I'm a fearful condo seller, and also wrote a book to help real estate agents market properties easier in this strange market.
Read your blog about Virginia Tech, and agree with the fact that we put so much emphasis on unimportant things...we don't stop to smell the roses and enjoy life.
Also, it seems people are afraid to get involved with other people. This boy was walking around campus for years, needing help, acting strange, averting his eyes when kids spoke to him. This is so sad, because no one seemed to want to take the steps needed to get him help, maybe even his family.
When I was a child, my best friend got polio. She was so ill, and my parents and the whole community were afraid we'd all get it too. Yet the neighbors got together and worked out a plan, each day one of them brought prepared meals to Nancy's home, and another would help with her care. They wore masks, and heavy clothes and they went each day to help.
My Mom would bathe for hours when she got home. But she went because she cared about the family and we needed to help them.
Now perhaps we're more isolated. We're afraid to take a chance and stick our necks out because of law suits or the way things "look" to others.
My friend Nancy is still alive today. Maybe that sad and sick person in Virgina could have been saved too.
All the best, Lois Geller

11:30 AM  

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